Longing for Belonging

So, I’m going to let you into a little secret… most of us just want to belong.

Sound very simple right? – but for many of us (I say us, as this rings true for me too) we just want to belong. We long to be told that we belong to someone or that someone has made us their choice.. If its not true for you it surly has been true for me at sometime or the other.

I grew up without my dad, and its only in my late 20’s that I realised how much of an impact that has had on me. I recall being at the alter on evening after service. I went up because I was feeling somewhat lost – out of place, of no particular use the list went on.. and I went up to talk to my God. I being prayed for, and a pastor said to me, with all the love in their heart and the best of intentions I’m sure “Just talk to God like your father”. At the time it didn’t really impact me and I didn’t take much from it. I remember going home and sitting, pondering that statement and I thought to myself – Preacher man.. Sir….. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THAT MEANS!

Its strange that growing up in the Faith, talking about God being a father and rehearsing the qualities of a father, running off the Lord Prayer with MUCH strength – “Our Father – who art in heaven….” But this father – daughter relationship was an alien one to me.

My understanding of a father was not a very healthy one. To me it was a man who chose not to be a father to me when I was of the understanding that once you had a child – love, affection, time , attention, due care, provision and value to that helpless life was of no option or choice. But I was wrong. He’s very much alive, but absent, missing, AWOL – other than guest appearances.. almost like a guest act on a show where these long lost stars turn up out of the wood works and retirement homes to sing two songs they can remember, dancing as much as the knees will allow, to songs only those in the audience over the age of 50 can sing along to… I digress, but you get the point. My comprehension of this “Father” person was a little distorted to say the least. It has taken and is taking much work and prayer to work my way through this area of my life but I can say that God has been SO merciful – something I am learning to be a quality of a good father – that He is helping me to understand what a) a father is and b) how AMAZING He is at being one!

A scripture that often brings tears to my eyes and a brokenness to my heart – especially when feeling like I just don’t belong is from Isaiah 43:1 (NLT):

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
    O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
    I have called you by name; you are mine;

Just the last clause ” You Are Mine”.

Just imagine – that the King of Glory, Creator of Heaven and Earth, Author and Finisher of our faith, Lion of the Tribe of Judah, The great God HIMSELF.. The sovereign King and God who reigns immortal, invisible, the only wise God our saviour has said of His own free will – that YOU… Yes you are HIS!

Never mind all those that have come in and out of your life. Never mind all those that you expected to stay but didn’t. Never mind those that never saw the quality and richness of your being and passed you off for any and anything. Never mind the job you didn’t get or the part you didn’t get. Agreed that many of these moments of being let down and expectations not being met leave us feeling one way or another – often times somewhere along the lines of useless and unwanted with a dash of abandoned – but just look at what God has said… YOU ARE MINE!

Often time all I want is for someone to make the choice and call me theirs – She.. that one over there.. She’s MINE… Remember when Adam first saw Eve.. look at what he said (Gen 2:23):

And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man

He took one look at her and said – YOU ARE MINE. He’d been naming animals for God knows how long, but this one! This one was his, and he made no mistake about making her now this, and naming her after him.. making it reeeeall clear that you.. miss lady person you! – YOU ARE MINE!

Well – God has done the same. Time and time again in His word he reminds us that we are indeed chosen, hand picked, selected, His desired habitation…

God says to you my Sister Daily that YOU ARE MINE!

4 thoughts on “Longing for Belonging

  1. Belonging. The fight not to let that desire to belong to someone overwhelm you, and to be content in belonging to God. To be MORE THAN CONTENT in belonging to God. I find that the hardest part, especially as a single woman. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It just takes time… Devotion to God… Work. Discipline. But we can get there.

    Thank you for revealing how this topic affects you personally. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great thoughts, Hannah. I was also thinking on how to place this in the context of singleness.. It also gets tricky for me especially when I see my friends or family happy married/in relationships and I’m still waiting… Forgive my long thoughts ahead, I’m sifting through my thoughts and your comment made me think… What follows is what I’m working on formulating in my heart…

      As I thought about my singleness and read this post, something clicked for me. The realization that I hadn’t really seen myself as a woman already ‘claimed’ and fully ‘belonging’ to someone – Jesus.

      I mean, of course I knew my life ‘belongs’ to Jesus… but I hadn’t seen myself as already belonging and being someone’s. The concept of belonging resonated with me at a deeper level now and made me wonder whether God’s intent from the beginning is for us to be secure in knowing we belong to Him as the first step toward a secure foundation and preparation for our earthly marriages…

      Of course the longings of wanting someone to be there with us, for us at a personal and human level will be there… But I feel as though if I first anchor myself in the truth that I already belong to Him, my relationship with my husband won’t be based on me seeking someone to belong to or to fill the ultimate “belonging void” that only Jesus is means to fill.

      Being firm in that foundation, I feel, would allow me to be at rest and not on the ‘lookout’ for the one man who can come and ‘claim’ me… instead, I partner with the truth that I already fully belong and that has the potential to make the journey much more enjoyable as I wait for the man who’ll be my husband. To me, this makes all the difference.

      Before I would’ve been grumpy and striving to be happy being single and wanting someone to come and undo my moments of loneliness.. but now I feel like I can take a deep breath knowing I already belong, have someone.. and when my husband comes, he also already belongs and isn’t expecting me to make him feel like he belongs.
      ….Instead, he’s already secure in knowing he belongs (and doesn’t need me to make him feel like he belongs, as that is Jesus’ job). So when we come together to love and encourage each other, the relationship has a firm foundation as we are both anchored in the knowledge and experience of belonging fully to Him…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Single Christian Lady you’ve got it! You already belong to someone, someone who has given himself for you so that he can present you back to himself spotless and blameless. You are already his beloved.. his bride.. his chosen one. He has commended his love towards you. He’s seen you as worth it. He’s seen your end from your begining and alllll that will go on in the middle and STILL made YOU his choice.
        Its a concept you ( and I) have to allow ourselves to accept, comprehend, believe and live in…
        Such a beautiful sight to see how your applying it!

        Liked by 1 person

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