85yrs ago today..

Dear Daddy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR..

85yrs ago today.. in a home in Manchester, Jamaica.. Hilda and John Morgan laid eyes on a miracle.

85yrs ago today someone truly amazing came into the world. 85 years ago today someone absolutely and categorically spectacular steped into this world.

Your parents probably had no idea of the impact you would have on this world. Probably a good thing that they didn’t, how would they handle such an amazing gift from God? One who would be a great child, who would turn into an amazing man, who turned into wonderful father and grandfather and later become the well seasoned Great Grandfather.. who knew!?

It’s your birthday, highly unlikely you’re aware, but thats ok.. it’s us who need to celebrate you.. I FaceTimed you to wish you a happy birthday.. always an entertaining experience as I dont think you get the concept. Pictures..that talk..and move..and I have to talk back too.. lol ..But to look at you.. looking at me.. I Bless God to be looking at you at the ripe age of 85 and not laying flowers at a grave side. Bless God forever!

Your eyes light up when you see Noah. You’ve always had a special bond with that one..

Sir, you’re simply amazing. You’re more than special, you’re more than unique. You are all man.. all gentleman..and all father.. I couldn’t have asked for a better person in my life.

Love you..

#VascularDementia

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I forgot to ask about the fried dumplin’ !!

Daddy,

I forgot to ask about the fried dumplings..

Ive not tasted, seen or smelt any like yours in all my 31 years. Your fried dumplings make up some of my earliest memories and I cant believe I forgot to ask about them.. the smell, the taste, the texture..

How do you get them so perfectly golden on all sides..? No milk.. no butter but still the softest centre ever known.. how comes they never burn in the dutch pot.. the edges dont touch the pan but they too are just as perfectly golden as the rest..how do you do it?

Flour I have, water I have, salt I got.. but..  but it’s just not quite right..

Was it the time taken to kneed the dough.. maybe it was the perfect balance of water to flour or maybe it was just the perfect mix of you and anything you put your hands to that did it.. I’m going with the latter..

I figured out soup of many varieties.. stew peas.. curry goat.. I even started frying fish.. I know you’d be proud since I was adamant I would never. That was undeniably and categorically your job.. but I guess you cant now..

But Im gutted I never asked about the fried dumplings! That will be one culinary experience I cant pass down to my children. One the world will miss.

Till next time. X

#VascularDementia

There is a stream

Isaiah 40:1 Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. (Psalms 46:4)

There is a stream that makes glad the city of God. The Psalmist goes on to say that “God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early”

These are two of the scriptures that I have up on my wall. A constant reminder that I am not alone. I often have this overwhelming feeling of feeling like I am fighting this battle of life alone. Pouring out in so many directions but having very little coming back in. Feeling like an emotional ATM Machine, people turning up, making withdraws – often where they didn’t even make any deposits – eventually leaving me in the red. It seems to be a constant cycle I am in. (I’m working on it!)

But I am encouraged to know that there is a River…!

Looking at the purpose and functions of a stream:

  • Brings food to the city
  • Means of transport
  • Source of life to the land and its inhabitants
  • Cleaning and Cleansing

This stream is very much in the midst of us. Providing support, food, life to us at all times. We are not alone and we have not been left without – the streams make glad the city of God.

Psalms 1:3 tells of the benefits of being by this river “and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper”

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. We have the privilege of being planted by the rivers. We have access to the substance we need when we remain by the river. The healthiest and greenest of trees are the ones you find beside the river.

There is a stream …

 

 

 

I know you’re still in there..

A letter to my (Gran) Dad…

I know you’re still in there.

I can see it in your eyes. Your condition has you locked like a prisoner in your own body. Present and yet so absent, but I know you’re in there. The odd times you smile and remember who I am. I cherish each time you say my name. I know you’re still in there.

I’m sorry I force you to talk to me, almost nose to nose with you, invading your personal space.. I’m just making sure you’re still in there..

It pains me to see you like this.. now I know why you were such a story-teller. And would tell a story for the 20th time like it was brand new. Because God knew that, one day, a day like today..there would be no more stories.. well not that I can always make sense of..your stories now mix present with the past and make me stop and think.. but I guess it makes sense to you. You always want to know what shift Im on, or tell me about your urgent need to get to the office.. but I know you’re still in there.

My daddy, my friend.. I know you’re still in there..

#VascularDementia

20/20 Vision

Matthew 9: 27-31

In this scripture tells a story of Jesus healing two blind men. Jesus in his ministry seems very interested in healing the blind.

Our natural sight is a every important part of our senses. Have you ever been walking and something gets in your eye. Automatically you STOP. Why? because your body knows you are in automatic and sudden danger if you can no longer see where you are going. Your eyes allow insight to your surroundings. Providing information to your brain that will allow it to make decisions for your next action. Even with limited vision, you don’t walk with assurance or strength, because your mind knows you’ve not acquired 100% of the information needed to make an informed decision about what to do next. Sight is very important. Often time our progress is limited by impaired sight.

You can be near sighted. This means that you are able to see things that are close to you, near to you, but you are unable to see clearly the things that are a far off. You can also be farsighted. This is when you are able to see things that are further way, in the distance, but you are unable to make out thing that are close to you. 20/20 vision is where you are able to clearly comprehend both near and far.

As in the natural – so in the Spiritual.

Sometimes we get into positions where our Spiritual Sight is somewhat impaired. We can be become Spiritually Near Sighted – we are content and see clearly the things that are near to us. We can see the current things that are in front of us, but we are unable to comprehend the things that are a far off.. We find it difficult to see whats coming. God has said He will do it, but we just can’t see it.

Abram (at the time) in Genesis 12 was called by God and was told by God Himself that he was going to make him a great nation. He was going to make one man.. an entire nation! This promise was repeated several times to Abram in dreams and in visions. In Chapter 15 you see Abram’s Nearsightedness. He talks of the steward of his house having a child and that, that child would be his heir. Abram had heard the promise and attributed it to the child he could see. (Chap 15:2+3). Abram had, had no child of his own, but was looking for a child, and could only see the on in his house, he was unable to see the one that God had spoken of which was a far off. Seeing this God specifies to Abram that the child he was looking for was to be from his own seed. So this clarifies what Abram is looking for a little more. However, still childless, still near sighted, and now 100 , he and his wife agree he would take Hagar and have a child. While this fulfilled the fact that it was Abram’s seed, this was still not the promised child.

They were able to comprehend the now, but were not able to see the future. It wasn’t until the promise had been shared with Sarah that the penny dropped – they understood exactly what they were looking for and indeed at. While it seemed laughable – it was clear how this child was to come and exactly who it was coming by.

Often times we lack 20/20 vision, we are unable to see the blessing and provision of God because we are too busy worrying about the future. Or, we are so consumed with all that we are currently in that we are not able to have faith to see things that are still a far off. Working hard for the now with no thought for the future or the bigger picture.

God has a predefined plan for all of us, but our sight is very important to the success of the mission we are on. Just like Abram, often times because we cant see it we take matters into our own hand. I don’t think we mean to mess up the plan, but we in our limited sight simply can not comprehend something because we have no sight of it. We are on a mission for God and require the right vision and sight to be able to walk this journey correctly.

We like the men who were blind need to have the mind to ask for and have faith for our sight.

Prayer:

Lord, I ask that you would indeed touch our eyes and that according to our faith, that we would receive our sight to clearly comprehend all that you are. God of the now and God of the future. that we would not become consumed with the present, or the future to the point where we loose focus and correct perception of where we are. Ultimately Lord, help us to keep our eyes on you – Captain of our Soul, Author of our Faith – Amen.

What you hold true governs you.

Truth affects our belief systems. What we believe of God is a base on what we know and what we hold to be true of God, or the version of truth that we hold about God.

What we hold true affects our Belief Systems and also governs a lot of who and what we are. It is important that we have full comprehension of where it comes from and what we hold true. Prov 23:23 suggests we buy the truth and sell it not.

In the days of the Apostles the challenge was not about believing if Jesus was who he says he was, as he was with them. The challenge was more physical torment and captivity. However, Jesus was sure to ensure his followers were very clear as to who he is when he asked them “who do YOU say that I am” Math 16; 13-20. I always find that scripture interesting as Jesus starts of with asking Peter about what he knows of the opinion of others. While this is good to know, Jesus changed the point of the question to a more important point – who do YOU say that I am? While the opinion of others is great, and being able to regurgitate the thoughts and opinions of others if finr.. when all that is done with… where do you YOU stand regarding who God is?

The enemy is looking to challenge what we know to be true about God. Knowing that he can not change who God is, he has no power to do that, but what he will do is question our understanding in aims of loosening our belt of truth with hopes that things will start to slip and drop out of place.

If the truth is compromised it has the direct reflection on the belief systems and perceptions. This was evident from the very book of Genesis. Gen 3: 1-4 the devil entered into dialogue with Eve. Now while he did not call God an outright liar, neither did he hold eve at ransom until she took the fruit, he simply suggested an alternative to what it was that God had said. He simply planted a seed. This is how quickly our belt can be loosened. And just like the natural belt when its no longer functional, parts of the garment started to drop and all of a sudden they have disobeyed God and are now hiding because they felt naked.

Their nakedness was never a problem before because they were in the presence of God, they were covered, being engulfed in the righteousness of God. Their belt was tight all this time as there was no question in who God was or what God had said, and this was evident in their belief system, and as a result governed their actions. However, as soon as that belt was made defective, the covering was dropped, and they felt naked.

2 Cor 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

Jesus provides us with an example of how to handle these situations. After 40 days of fasting, the devil looks to have a conversation with Jesus. He makes several offers to him, but each time Jesus responds with the undiluted, unquestionable word of God. This is indeed the Sword of the Spirit, sharper than any two edged sword. When these things come to challenge what the knowledge of God that we hold true, we use the word of God. Our own words wont cut it. Our own opinions wont cut it. Use the word of God.

We need to be real careful of the things that run through our mind. Rom 7:25 lets us know “So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God”. The mind is very much a battle ground. The enemy is looking to plant seeds that will simply challenge our knowledge of God. From the beginning the enemy was looking to exalt himself above God, but since that plan failed he is now looking to challenge what we know about God. He cant defy God, but he will look to loosen our belts any way he can.

My beloveds – guard your minds. Remember is a battle ground.

Sometimes, I don’t like waiting …

I have discovered something about myself recently. I have very little patients, neither do I like waiting.

I look back over my life and see how much I have done and did out of the inability to wait. I was working before the legal age, as my family were not one of these pocket money and allowance types. So rather than waiting and having to ask, I asked a lady in a charity shop near my grandparents home if I could work for her. She agreed and that where I would be found for as long as I could after school. As soon as I got my National Insurance Number (not even the card, just the number..lol) which meant I was now allowed to work I was out looking for a job. I secured one within a few weeks and have been working ever since.

When I was legally able to apply for a drivers licence I did so and was determined to pass this test. So it took me a few attempts, but I was determined to get this done. Why, because my family don’t know time and I wanted to be able to leave and go when I was ready. So due to my inability to wait and frustrations when it came to their time keeping, I did all I could to remove myself from that. Even to this day, I have to think twice when they offer me a lift to somewhere we are all going. While it means I don’t have to drive, and better for the Ozone and all that, I just have think… your likely to be late picking me up, meaning we are going to be late arriving where we are going, and likely, you’ll be the last to leave when its done..Then the question now remains – do I have enough patients for this? The usual answer is – NO! LOL

Currently, if I’m honest, I am struggling with this season of waiting. I’ve wanted to be married from a very young age. Hindsight tells me that, that may not have been such a good idea, but the desire for marriage has never left me – as often as I tell God to remove it, if it’s not in His will for me to marry! I rolled into my 30’s – grateful for life but VERY disappointed. I was 30 with two kids and no husband.. hardly a happy birthday moment for me. This really was not the way I had planned for things to go, but here I was.

This year I hit 31, still no husband. Still waiting, still desiring to be married and what seems to be nothing happening. Waiting!

We have a song we sing in church that says “I don’t mind waiting”. Being on the choir and a worship leader, I’ve had to sing it a few times, and lead the congregation in what is such a pretty song. But each time, the song is finish, I sit down, and I think.. well that wasn’t very honest was it now Candace. Because the truth is, sometimes – I do mind waiting. I do mind. I do mind sitting here like old meat on a shelf, unfavourable due to my past, unlikely matched due to my age, and a hard nut to crack due to my character. I do mind being the bridesmaid and never the bride. I do mind that almost every man I have been with is now married, I do mind that the few female friends I have had are all married now. I’m happy for them all, don’t get me wrong, but I would be lying if I said I get these invites, attend these weddings, see these pictures and don’t stop for a second to ask God.. when is it my turn?

When do I get to be someone’s good thing, when do I get to be held close, when do I get to share such amazing news that I have been found and chosen, that someone has found me and been mad enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me. When do I get shimmy down an isle toward my love, my king, my heart. At what point do I get to celebrate a union and set up that was ordained by God himself in such wisdom and beauty. That He would ordain for two to become one flesh in love, heart, body and spirit. When do I get to look into the eyes of one that will call me his and vow to be mines until his last breath. When will I get to be called bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. When do I get to change my name – give up this one that holds so much pain, hurt, frustration, sadness in exchange for one that is a symbol of love, union, peace. One that I can write with a smile, one I can write with pride and joy. Lord, sometimes I do mind waiting.

While I trust God, and while I know that we should learn to embrace our seasons as they are beneficial and crucial to the next season, this season of waiting is not one I’m enjoying. I pray God increase my faith. My assurance. My trust in Him to be doing what is right for me. That this season – cold, dark, misty, uncertain, dry as it may be wont last forever, that my Spring will come – a time for new birth, freshness, newness, a season of life will come, and that I will be ready in waiting!

Noting particularly profound and deep today.. just wanted to share where I was at. Likely someone reading this is feeling the same way.. the least this will do is help you know that you are not alone..

Impatiently yours …

Sisters Daily x