My fling with Mr P

Even as I am writing this.. I may still have a little “Situation-Ship” with this thing..Pray for me..Lets just say I had intended to write this on Monday, it’s now Thursday evening and somewhere between guilt and drive – I’m an only writing this now.. But here we are – Thank God..

I intentionally didn’t make any plans for the year. I naturally do it all the time, but for some reason Jan 2019 came and I had nothing. In hindsight it has been a good thing that I didn’t. This year has been quite a traumatic one for me leaving me with a questionable view of reality. I had spent a considerable amount of years thinking one thing and in one 24 hour span all that came crashing down.

What hit the floor were my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations, my intentions and strangely enough everything I had thought of myself and who I thought I was. My entire existence had been wrapped up (I was going use the word engaged – the irony) in an individual and the prospects of an entirely different life to the one I currently have. I was under the assumption, and that’s really where I went wrong.

Fast forward 6 months of me clearing up the shattered pieces of my existence there were pieces missing. I thought I was doing well by using my “business” as some kind of polly-filler to mask over the gaps. The pieces that I had managed to get together were not holding well – because of the gaps. But, I thought if I am busy enough, moving fast enough, it wont matter. Boy was I wrong. I wasn’t busy – I was running. Running from being accountable. Running from making an effort. Running from trying again. I was running with fear as my co-runner.

A few things have crossed my mind to do while I have been healing this year. They have all crossed my mind, been written down in my journal, looked into – just a little – and been left with no further action. Marked down to just a good idea, something someone could do. That someone not being me of course. Or, maybe I would get to it one day.

Something else I would do… God would inspire me to do something and rather than just get on with it, I would go ask someone’s opinion about it. Now, this was not for validation – rather stalling. This meant that any delay, was now not mines, but someone else for not getting back to me in a timely manner – coz we all know folks are busy. But why was I looking for the input of others when the idea was heaven sent? Fear.

I have been fed things about myself for so long that I had lost sight and comprehension of who I was. I was scared to be anything, because without the expressed opinions of someone else, I didn’t really know what to think. Everything I did believe about the relationship was now a categorical lie – which also went for everything and anything I believed about me. So where was I? Somewhere admits the shattered pieces.

So here came Mr Procrastination (aka Mr P). Broad in stature – broad enough for me to lost in. Always around and willing to hear why I couldn’t do something today. Always looking to remind me of the fact that “tomorrow is another day”. Tall enough to remind me of just how small I was in this big world of people who could get the job done better than I could. Warm enough for me to curl up and be oh so comfortable with. I had literally fallen into the arms of Mr P – head over heals. He meant I didn’t have to try and ultimately fail – just like I had at the relationship.

One Sunday my Pastor delivers a message with my name on it: “What have you done with your talent?” (Mthw 25:14-30). The parable of a man with workers. He gives them all an amount of money according to their ability and leaves for some time. When he returns he asks about the money. Two of the three workers had doubled what they were given. One had simply dug a hole in the ground and buried it. The man had a few choice words for this worker calling him both lazy and wicked. The money he was given was taken off him, and he was fired. This was one of those “if you can’t say Amen, just say ouch” kind of messages.

I went home and had to really sit and think about what was happening. What was I doing, and why was I not doing what I was supposed to be doing? I was scared. Scared to try and fail again. Scared of getting it wrong like I had been for so long. I’d lost trust in myself and wasn’t even attempting to trust God. None of this was correct, and far from the woman God had called me to be. This relationship with Mr P had to end. I was not about to loose what little talent I consider myself to have due to this thing I had going on. I had been handed one thing to do – could I not just manage the one. I had to call it off. I had to trust God to fill in the gaps of my reality for me. Bridging the gaps between the parts me I had, and the parts I felt that were missing.

To whoever is reading this – If you have been blessed with a vision from God, just get on with it. It’s likely you will look at the thing and for one reason on the other you will assume the job is too big for you. Liklyhood is that, that is exactly correct for YOU – Human being YOU it is too big, but you were never meant to do it alone, God just wanted you to get started. So many scriptures remind us of how we start but God finishes – in ways far beyond our own ability. We just have to be willing to be obedient knowing that the one who has started the work (by planting the seed in your mind) is able to complete it..the bits in the middle have your name on it. Lets not be found both wicked and lazy and have the one thing we had been given taken from us and loose our entitlements entirely.

Find one thing before the year is out that you KNOW you were supposed to get moving with. Do what you can with it and trust God to make provision for the rest. If he has a plan on the earth he need man to work through. He has all the provision, just waiting on a willing channel to work through..Let it be you.

 

 

 

Fear and self control

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgement and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
2 TIMOTHY 1:7 AMP
https://bible.com/verse-of-the-day/2ti.1.7/718

This week I went on a road trip with my two boys.. and I came back with a lot more than pictures.

I have two boys, who in age are around 5yrs apart and in character are complete polar opposites. My eldest is very calm, an observant individual, happy not to speak unless it means something to him or if spoken to. He’s wondering into his teenage yrs so his temperament fluctuates like the wind. At times he seems SO miserable that its actually hard to be around him as he is just so dismissive, and resistant to any form of engagement…

My youngest, he’s 7 and just happy to be alive. He is warm, affectionate, close, engaging, nooooon stop talking. He needs engagements from the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps. This could be an age thing, but he’s always been this way..

Polar opposites. Mothering both of them has had its challenges. I’ve had to master the skill of looking after both spectrums at once.. one who wont start and one who wont stop. One who doesn’t want to be looked at and one who wont stop till you lock eyes with him. One who laughs with passion and depth.. and the other.. who almost seems afraid to let you see him smile. It can be quite difficult as I can’t engage with them the same but I must and need to engage.

This week I realized that my children are a direct expression of my character.. or maybe that should be characterS…plural..and how hard it must be to manage and be with me.

I recall conversations with my ex. He would tell me how hard I was to be with. How hard it was to anticipate and gage where I would emotionally or mentally be at any given moment. He once told me he that he’d rather not spend money on me if I was in one of my moods. He hated that I could run from one pole to another at any given moment..and he never knew who and or what to expect.

This week it registered just how difficult this must have been.. through my children I was seeing me.. the warm and tender me and the.. well.. not so warm and tender.. and it stopped me in my tracks..

I had to bring this to God. He opened my eyes, and I just didn’t know what to do with what I was seeing. I immediately went to God for help. Help with my emotions. The fact that I seem to swing like some uncontrollable pendulum from pillar to post.. no warning.. just swinging. It’s not good.. not safe.. not nice..

I had to ask God for help! And help He did. 2 Tim 1:7. Tells me that God hasn’t give me the spirit of fear, but power, love and a SOUND MIND. Another version talks of a Well-Balanced mind and Self-Control … basically.. NON-PENDULUM-LIKE-NESS-NESS…!

I had to start by thanking God for being kind enough to expose my issues. He’s a good father. Secondly, I asked him to remove the core emotions of fear that demonstrate and manifest themselves in my pendulum like ways. I asked God to help me.. help me be more balanced. Help me to have some self-control. Father help me not to be such a pendulum.. all this swinging around cant be healthy or helpful..

The Power in Perspective Pt2

So part two of my thoughts on perspective

Part two will hopefully encourage you to take control of the situations you face by becoming more self aware and in control. Often times we allow life to happen to us as if we have little to no control of the situations. Life happens – that’s a given. Scripture says the rain falls on the just AND the unjust (Mth 5:45) meaning that none of us a exempt from trials and just life .. However, the power is in how we choose to go through it.

I often times think of Job and all he suffered in an instant – unknown to him – God and the Devil were having a good old talk about him before anything started going wrong for him. To top it all off – this wasn’t like when God sent the plagues to Egypt because of the hardened hart of Pharaoh – God was actually boasting about Job and how good he is and STILL allowed the Devil to mess up his life to the extent that he was left with nothing..

Often time our perspective would lead us to think that God is full on out to get us. Just out lurking with pit falls and fog and anything else that would make our lives difficult – but this is the total opposite of what The Father is trying to do. Lets look at some examples:

John 9:1-12 tells us of a man who was born blind and the encounter he had with Jesus. Jesus was about his business as per usual and he encounters this blind man. His disciples ask him “who sinned why he was born blind, his mother or father?”. Jesus’s answer offers a different perspective in verse 3 :  Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

Here we see one situation. Two perspectives. The disciples had one, Jesus had another. The disciples wanted to know who was to blame for this terrible thing that this man had endured all his life. They were looking for someone to blame as to why this thing had happened. They were concerned about they WHY of the situation. Don’t most of us get stuck in the Why of a matter. See the different perspective from Jesus – He was more concerned about the WHAT of this situation. What was the reason for this whole orchestrated encounter – simply that the works of God might be displayed through him. See the difference

Another example. Lazarus. In John 11 we see the account of a friend of Jesus being reported to be sick. The bible accounts that this man was close to Jesus. Mary says to him “the one you love”.. just in case He was getting his friends and Lazarus’ mixed up. In verse four we get the perspective of Jesus “When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby”. Here we have a perspective. Now this didn’t change the situation. It didn’t even change the initial outcome of the friend dying – however we see the power of perspective. Look at Jesus’s reaction – He actually stayed where He was for another two days. Not shaken – not even stirred.

Now we could say He wasn’t shaken because He knew what He was going to do – how would you expect me to have such grounding without knowledge of how things are going to end? I’m glad you asked – this is where we have to train our faith.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen we are told (Heb 11:1). It’s what the unknown and unseen are made up from – Faith. Scripture tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. another version talks of an expected end. Here very clearly we see the outline – start to finish of God’s heart and mind towards us. He makes it very clear that he has an expected end. He has a glory at the end for us. His thoughts towards us are GOOD. He has no ill thought or plan for our lives. And this is the rock we need to anchor our perspective in.

Many things have happened to me and often times I stopped to wonder why? Like I didn’t pray, or fast, or read my bible. Like I don’t sever in church, pay my tithes, give my offering. Like I’ve not suffered enough.. that’s one perspective. To consider life as one BIG episode of Total Wipeout where the aim is to Take-Me-Out.. and God is the one releasing all the water and foam and BIG balls just to make it difficult. Or, I could ask God “what is it you want from me and or my life via this? Since your thoughts towards me are good..and in aims of bringing me to an expected end – what (not why) is this in aims of”?

You my dear have to make the decision to taken another stance. Now I am not asking you to put on a pair of sunglasses and pretend like life isn’t happening – because it is – whether you want to see it or not. But what I am suggesting to you is that you take a moment to think before reacting. Lets not forget – Jesus still cried when He got to the grave of the friend who He loved – even with full knowledge of what He was going to do – so I am not taking that away from you. I’m suggesting a different perspective. You actually have the power and choice to do things differently.

Having your thoughts anchored in such a truth (and there are may more like it) allows you to steady your reactions. Like Jesus – asleep on the boat despite the storm. Just because Jesus was there, didn’t stop the storm – but the storm didn’t bother him. It’s a choice you have to and can make.. to choose another perspective.

Much love xxx

 

He’s Acquainted with My Grief : Daddy Knows

So this year has been one of the hardest years I’ve had for some time. In fact it has been a tough could of years, however I am still here. Better for it all. I can say that now – had you asked me a few months a go I probably would have side-eyed you and walked away in a full on stink.. I was hurt. I apologise to anyone who got side-eyed.. My Bad!

In a moment of deep despair and sorrow – feeling a deep sense of rejection, disappointment and betrayal, God sent me words of comfort that no other voice could speak.

I had spoken to a few sisters about the period of life that I was in, and many had offered many kind words. Many encouraged me -some with scripture, some with positive words of affirmation, others just got angry and the cause of my hurt – some seemed more angry than I was… Goodness, I had to calm them down.. like breath sister…breath!  But that’s what you call friends.

But in all honesty, none of it was working. None of it. The hurt I was feeling had sunk deep into the pits and the core of my being a place no one can reach.

The words they were offering – while kind, and true and sweet to the taste – none of it was getting to the real core of my pain. The pain I was feeling was not something I had experienced before. I was feeling more than I would express in words. And nothing adds salt to the wounds than feeling hurt and having no one that you can run to to make it all better. I would tell God.. “you mean I have to sit here, in this, by myself?” It was totally distressing. Utterly mortifying to feel like no one really got the way that I was feeling. And because no one knew how I was feeling – no one could fix it. No one.

I’ve talked previously about how I struggle with abandonment and feelings of being alone. This was all of that and a bag of chips rolled up into one messy blubbering mess. literally – BUT GOD!

I sat at my desk on evening and I heard ; Surely He has bore our griefs. He is fully acquainted with your sorrow…

It was a simple statement. Again, I knew parts of the scripture, but I went to read it in full. Isaiah 53.

I read it once.. and I read it again. And I read it again. This scripture lays out the life of Jesus from an emotional point of view. While he was about doing miracles and preaching an so on – Jesus was still very much human. He came in the form of flesh just so he could associate with how we feel – isn’t that amazing. He did that on purpose – JUST so that in times of grief and sorrow we could turn to him because he knows exactly how we feel.

I read the passage and underlined all the things he had endured – each of them related with me – deeply and genuinely. I read it in a number of translations – and it was literally like reading my present situation point for point. Feelings of being despised, rejected, turned on, avoided, pierce, crushed, oppressed, beaten, tormented, unjustly condemned, struck down, buried like a criminal.. all these things I was feeling and felt that I was totally alone in this – totally alone. But I was wrong. God is fully acquainted with my grief.

I wish I could fully articulate how liberating it felt to know that everything I was feeling – God knew and was acquainted with. So when I cry and say

“Daddy it hurts.. I gave my all and they still hurt me” He says “I know baby, I came to give my life for them and they still beat me half to death.. I know”..

When I cry and say “Lord why..? I cant do this”.. I hear Him say “I know it hurts baby, I know.. I wanted the bitter cup to pass too, I know”..

When those that hurt me walk past me like nothing happened and did noting – and I ask God “why?” – He says “I know.. my own disciples rejected me and swore blind they didn’t know me..I know rejection..I know it well baby”

And its not a sympathetic..there there, never mind.. it’s a ..I’ve been there, I’ve felt that, I’m acquainted with it, I fully feel your pain..

I just wanted to remind someone today OR tell you that you are in no shape or terms alone in your grief. Some heart ache is more that just sadness, its full on grief and sorrow you are feeling. Know that your Father is FULLY acquainted with what it is you feel right now. Nothing you are feeling is strange to Him, noting. All those feelings that are tormenting you and the feelings that tell you that you are doing life in isolation is a lie.. there is someone who has walked this road before and is walking it with you right now.. You’re talking to someone who knows…

Today He says “I know baby.. Daddy knows.. ”

God knows

Isaiah 53 Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes[c] his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];
by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors.

 

 

 

Strength of your Heart

Wait on the LORD. Be courageous, and he will strengthen your heart. Wait on the LORD! Psalm 27:14

During morning devotion – and no – that doesn’t mean I was sat on a beach front, watching the sunrise winging on a hammock in blissful silence. . . More like sat at my desk, in front of half eaten breakfast taking the few minutes I had between my 7 year old asking me to locate his left shoe, my 12 year old needing to be reminded to use deodorant today and me remembering to pack my lunch.. that I was caught by the scripture. 

You know when you are sat minding your own business and all of a sudden there is a flurry of activity and its like someone hit the download button and all of a sudden there is a surge of information and encouragement. Scriptures are just flying through your head, thoughts are being lined up that are then being layered up with more scriptures.. You don’t.. well I don’t.. even know where the scriptures are taken from but they are coming thick and fast. Almost like the Clark Kent to Superman transformation in a phone box. Often times I don’t even know what to write on which is why I have pens and post-it notes all over my home.. these moments of inspiration just take off and I need to be able to write them down as they come.. I don’t want to miss a single crumb..

So this particular morning, back to the half eaten breakfast – I hear “Wait on the Lord.. Be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart. Wait I say on the Lord”. I asked myself one question.. – Why, when I am waiting would my heart need strength? Why would it be promised that in my time of waiting that God would be the one to strengthen my heart while I am waiting?

I was reminded of Proverbs 13:12 that states that “Hope deferred, makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life“.

There is something somewhat sickening about waiting..There – I said it.

There is just something about waiting that is unsettling when it has been going on for some while. The proverb suggests that your heart becomes sick when something you have hoped for is delayed, and this is fact. Whether you are waiting for a bus, a delivery, or the microwave – something happens to our hearts in the state of delayed expectations. A strange mix of anxiety and confusion takes us. We know something should be happening about now, we are looking for it, listening out for it, but it’s not turned up. Then here comes the questions – Why has it not turned up? Where is it? When is it coming? How much longer will I be without? what’s going on?

All these are valid questions when waiting, however, after having asked yourself the same question for 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, maybe 5 months, or the last 5 years, for some decades..(you get the picture) – something happens – literally – something damaging starts to happen. The questions that were once logical and rational have morphed into swards of furry that poke holes in our once whole and sound heart. Turning joyful hope into a toxic slurry of confusion and doubt if we are not careful. Having waited “too long” our heart has become sick..

broken heart.PNG

Proverbs 4:23 states this: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it“. When your heart has become sick – believe me – its evident in almost every area of your life. Jesus while talking to a group of Pharisees notes that “..out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks..”(Mthw 12:34). Our heart and its contents are directly linked to what we do and what we say. A sick heart can lead us to do and say some out of Christlike-Character things.. Proverbs 15:13 tells us “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit”..

heart and mind

And this is why our heart needs strengthening – and reinforcing while we are waiting. God in His wisdom lets us know that if we can do the waiting – He will do the strengthening. This is His promise to us. He is well aware of the potentially effects of waiting for a promise given. He knows we have the tendency to become impatient and flustered and loose hope while waiting. Doubt is both toxic and hazardous in the life of the believer. As is fear – and guaranteed where you find one.. the other wont be far behind.

We owe it to ourselves to check the content of our heart and mouth in relation to things we are still waiting on God for. Have we started speaking negatively about that deferred hope? Have we sided with doubt and decided that maybe God cant? Or maybe you haven’t taken it as far as God can’t.. because that would be unheard of to find something God cant do.. so that cant be it – maybe we have consoled ourselves with the thought that God simply wont..we’ve sold our hopes because they cause us too much pain to bear. I dare not get my hopes up..

I’ll share a thought process I had concerning a wait of mines .. “I can’t, in fact I refuse to go to another wedding without a husband of my own…At LEAST a boyfriend.. and dare anyone ask me to be a bridesmaid… again.. in fact, please don’t even invite me to the wedding.. I don’t really want to know – I just can’t. I don’t want to hear how you wasn’t even looking for a husband .. “but look what the Lord did”…. No .. I’m not shouting with you, put down my tambourine and go away please.. and thank you.. #truestory .. one I’m sure a few of you can relate to. My heart had become so toxic in the season of waiting that I found it difficult to honestly (the key word there) and genuinely celebrate others who had received the answer to MY prayer…  err – excuse me!! – Anyways.. we thank God for deliverance.. I’m still single, but my heart isn’t toxic about it.. !

Now, He didn’t promise to speed things up, or put an automatic end out our wait. That wasn’t the promise. He promises to give us the ability to endure. Not something we do ourselves – something He says that He will take care of. However, should we become weary in the waiting – trust me – it happens.. Psalm 147:3 reminds us that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”.

You’ve still got to wait though. I know.. hardly the happy ending you were looking for – but know that God has prepared strength for you in His presence and His word that will strengthen and reinforce your heart while you are waiting. Even if doubt turns up with it’s BFF fear – God has the remedy for both of those.. and its usually wrapped in the demonstration of His love towards us.

Wait on the Lord.. Be of good courage .. and HE WILL strengthen your heart. Wait I say on the Lord..

Until next time..

 

 

It was the time for love : Spiritual Adoption #1

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine. Ezekiel 16:8

I’m going to use my hands to pull this scripture apart – think of it like tear and share bread! We are going to eat.. and at the end we are going to sit and let it digest.. !

Jesus is passing this way. The woman at the well was minding her own business unaware of the spiritual drought and deficit in her life. Jesus made the choice, He purpose to pass her way. Knowing that salvation would reach her by none other. He made / fixed an opportunity to pass her way. Knowing not only would salvation come to her that day, but via her testimony others too would receive life, and life

Jesus is passing this way. The woman with the issue of blood had a need. While she was not His intended destination, He was still passing her way. This one took the opportunity to cross paths with Him. She wasn’t looking to interrupt His journey, she didn’t even intend to have a conversation with Him. She just knew that this was her chance. Jesus was passing her way.

Jesus is purposefully passing my way. He sees my condition. He sees my state. He sees the void, the emptiness, the pain, the shame and the embarrassment and He’s passing my way just for me.

Why is he passing my way? Because He knows that I can’t do this thing by myself. He knows that if left to me I would be a write off in a matter of days maybe even hours. He knows that He is the only one that can make all this better. He alone knows how to stop the bleeding just ask the woman with the issue of blood. He alone knows how to call life from death just ask Lazerus.

Jesus is intently passing my way. Ultimately because He loves me. While I have no business here, no right, no inheritance, this makes it all his choice. Knowing the limitations, knowing I’m far from worthy, He is still passing my way because He wants ME. Ultimately He’s already paid the price for me redeeming me back to himself because I am what and who He wants. He is done with the tents and the tabernacles now He wants me. So He is passing my way to come and get me.

He’s passing my way he looked at me “behold thy time was the time of love”. He called time.

He called time, having wondered in my own way, filthy, naked, broken, bleeding He’s taken this all in when He looked at me and decided now was the time for love. Enough of the of being hounded by the past, enough of the hurts, the anxiety and depression, enough was enough, time for love now! He called time.

He called time on the season. While it was good for me to be afflicted that I might learn your statuses, eventually someone has to call time (ask Job). While we all have our limits everyone’s much is different,eventually someone has to call time and say enough is enough now. Boxing comes to mind. Sometimes the contender has been beaten so badly and is now delirious thinking they can go on but there is always someone who can proxy for that irrational state and call time. Sometimes we don’t even know when enough is enough, but He called time.

He called time on the suffering, time on the weeping and brought the morning. He called time on the guilt and  un-forgiveness that worked like acid, painful corrosive destructive  He called time. It was time for love!

It was time for love. Now love is not love till it’s been given away. There wasn’t a dialogue, there was no discussion  no judgement, nothing. The time was a time of love, a time to do and what is it that he did? He made me His.

Divine care, He spread his skirt over me. This was an act of ownership, selecting, choosing, identifying once choice. He put His skirt over me you can ask Ruth how that feels. He took what was used to cover Himself to cover me too. He brought me in, took me under to cover my nakedness. This He did for me. He took his righteousness and covered my nakedness as I had no means or method or way of doing this myself. Revelations 3:17 talks of a people who didn’t even know that they would naked, wretched, poor, but when He came by and looked at us He knew and He also knew that we had no means of covering ourselves so He did this for us. For me.. for you! The act of justification and redemption in one beautiful act. Garments were often used as coverlets, and the act described was therefore, as in Ruth 3:9 the received symbol of a completed marriage. Through this act; He became mine and I became His.

Then He swore unto us, entered into an agreement with us. Now who better to enter into an agreement then with the God who’s words are settled in the heavens, who changes not, and is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that he should repent. He makes a long standing agreement with us – enters into a marriage with us, making it clear that we are His.

And Thou Becamest Mine… this hit home with me! Personally I have always struggled with belonging – not feeling that I really belong to someone can be quite troublesome when it comes to relationships, self confidence, self esteem. You hear of teens at various stages of their lives going to “find themselves”.. assuming because they just don’t feel they belong anywhere. But this statement got to the core of me.

After passing by me, after looking at me, after calling my time of love, covering me with his own righteousness, taking me in, making a vow and agreement with me I have now become HIS!

ADOPTION PROCESS COMPLETED 

Beautiful right… Thou becamest mine! say it out loud…. let it digest!

Thou Becamest MINE! 

 

 

 

There is a stream

Isaiah 40:1 Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. (Psalms 46:4)

There is a stream that makes glad the city of God. The Psalmist goes on to say that “God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early”

These are two of the scriptures that I have up on my wall. A constant reminder that I am not alone. I often have this overwhelming feeling of feeling like I am fighting this battle of life alone. Pouring out in so many directions but having very little coming back in. Feeling like an emotional ATM Machine, people turning up, making withdraws – often where they didn’t even make any deposits – eventually leaving me in the red. It seems to be a constant cycle I am in. (I’m working on it!)

But I am encouraged to know that there is a River…!

Looking at the purpose and functions of a stream:

  • Brings food to the city
  • Means of transport
  • Source of life to the land and its inhabitants
  • Cleaning and Cleansing

This stream is very much in the midst of us. Providing support, food, life to us at all times. We are not alone and we have not been left without – the streams make glad the city of God.

Psalms 1:3 tells of the benefits of being by this river “and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper”

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. We have the privilege of being planted by the rivers. We have access to the substance we need when we remain by the river. The healthiest and greenest of trees are the ones you find beside the river.

There is a stream …