He’s Acquainted with My Grief : Daddy Knows

So this year has been one of the hardest years I’ve had for some time. In fact it has been a tough could of years, however I am still here. Better for it all. I can say that now – had you asked me a few months a go I probably would have side-eyed you and walked away in a full on stink.. I was hurt. I apologise to anyone who got side-eyed.. My Bad!

In a moment of deep despair and sorrow – feeling a deep sense of rejection, disappointment and betrayal, God sent me words of comfort that no other voice could speak.

I had spoken to a few sisters about the period of life that I was in, and many had offered many kind words. Many encouraged me -some with scripture, some with positive words of affirmation, others just got angry and the cause of my hurt – some seemed more angry than I was… Goodness, I had to calm them down.. like breath sister…breath!  But that’s what you call friends.

But in all honesty, none of it was working. None of it. The hurt I was feeling had sunk deep into the pits and the core of my being a place no one can reach.

The words they were offering – while kind, and true and sweet to the taste – none of it was getting to the real core of my pain. The pain I was feeling was not something I had experienced before. I was feeling more than I would express in words. And nothing adds salt to the wounds than feeling hurt and having no one that you can run to to make it all better. I would tell God.. “you mean I have to sit here, in this, by myself?” It was totally distressing. Utterly mortifying to feel like no one really got the way that I was feeling. And because no one knew how I was feeling – no one could fix it. No one.

I’ve talked previously about how I struggle with abandonment and feelings of being alone. This was all of that and a bag of chips rolled up into one messy blubbering mess. literally – BUT GOD!

I sat at my desk on evening and I heard ; Surely He has bore our griefs. He is fully acquainted with your sorrow…

It was a simple statement. Again, I knew parts of the scripture, but I went to read it in full. Isaiah 53.

I read it once.. and I read it again. And I read it again. This scripture lays out the life of Jesus from an emotional point of view. While he was about doing miracles and preaching an so on – Jesus was still very much human. He came in the form of flesh just so he could associate with how we feel – isn’t that amazing. He did that on purpose – JUST so that in times of grief and sorrow we could turn to him because he knows exactly how we feel.

I read the passage and underlined all the things he had endured – each of them related with me – deeply and genuinely. I read it in a number of translations – and it was literally like reading my present situation point for point. Feelings of being despised, rejected, turned on, avoided, pierce, crushed, oppressed, beaten, tormented, unjustly condemned, struck down, buried like a criminal.. all these things I was feeling and felt that I was totally alone in this – totally alone. But I was wrong. God is fully acquainted with my grief.

I wish I could fully articulate how liberating it felt to know that everything I was feeling – God knew and was acquainted with. So when I cry and say

“Daddy it hurts.. I gave my all and they still hurt me” He says “I know baby, I came to give my life for them and they still beat me half to death.. I know”..

When I cry and say “Lord why..? I cant do this”.. I hear Him say “I know it hurts baby, I know.. I wanted the bitter cup to pass too, I know”..

When those that hurt me walk past me like nothing happened and did noting – and I ask God “why?” – He says “I know.. my own disciples rejected me and swore blind they didn’t know me..I know rejection..I know it well baby”

And its not a sympathetic..there there, never mind.. it’s a ..I’ve been there, I’ve felt that, I’m acquainted with it, I fully feel your pain..

I just wanted to remind someone today OR tell you that you are in no shape or terms alone in your grief. Some heart ache is more that just sadness, its full on grief and sorrow you are feeling. Know that your Father is FULLY acquainted with what it is you feel right now. Nothing you are feeling is strange to Him, noting. All those feelings that are tormenting you and the feelings that tell you that you are doing life in isolation is a lie.. there is someone who has walked this road before and is walking it with you right now.. You’re talking to someone who knows…

Today He says “I know baby.. Daddy knows.. ”

God knows

Isaiah 53 Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes[c] his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];
by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors.

 

 

 

Battlefield Of The Mind – Joyce Meyer

 

So this is the first of many book reviews that I will be writing.

I have been reading a lot lately – but let me make this clear, there is nothing with as much impact and informational effect as the word of God. While all these books I read and review are good and supporting to ones life, I am a witness to the life changing power of the undiluted word of God.

Battle Field Of The Mind – Winning The Battle Of The Mind – Joyce Meyer

The Author:

Joyce Meyer is one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers. A New York Times bestselling author, her books have helped millions of people find hope and restoration through Jesus Christ. Joyce Meyer writes having suffered sexual abuse as a child and the pain of an emotionally abusive first marriage, Joyce discovered the freedom to live victoriously by applying God’s Word to her life and in turn desires to help others do the same. She also survived her battle with breast cancer and she speaks openly and practically about her experiences so others can apply what she has learned to their lives.

Why I Picked It Up:

I have recent begun listening to Joyce Meyer’s podcasts in the morning and I have really taken to her style of speech and ability to just say what needs to be said without the hype. I was listening to a podcast about emotional health and I related to some of the experiences that she shared from her own life. Something that struck out for me was a point of having emotional balance. Something I have been looking for.

Often times our feelings and indeed our emotions have way too much control of our lives. This seeps into our decision making, our reactions, our character all based on something as changeable as our emotions. I was encouraged to establish a base line to my mind. This baseline was rooted and grounded in the word of God. One that says irrespective of what’s going on, who loves me, who stays, who leaves, whats in the bank – my joy isn’t in these things but in God. I can hold my head up high every day because God’s word is settled – His view of me is set – His love for me is everlasting. I have hope, I am blessed, I am loved and these are FACT! Everything else is changeable – if you ground yourself in moving objects you will fall .. painfully and will spend a lot of time chasing after fluctuating images and feelings..

This book reminds you of the power that you have to act on the word of God and take charge over your mind. The devil is after your mind – he knows that if he can take your mind captive he can stop you from believing in God and having faith in His word, and we know from Hebrews 11:6 it is impossible to please God without faith.

Consider this. Romans 10:17 states that Faith comes by Hearing, and Hearing by the word of God. How many times have we sat in a service, or even been home “reading” the bible. And due to the volume of things going on in your mind you haven’t seen or heard a thing that you are listening to or reading. How many times have you come to the end of a chapter and thought.. I have no clue what I just read. The devil knows that if he can stop the word of God getting into your spirit – which works via your soul and is expressed in your actions he has won half the battle. The seed cant take root if it does not get the chance or even the time to take root. (Reed Matthew 13). The devil knows the power of the word of God and the power just a little bit of it can have.

Daniel 7:25 exposes a plan of the wicked one – “to wear out the saints”. How often do things disturb your peace to the point where even after a full nights sleep you do not feel rested. Your mind is non stop with worry, fear, distress, fuss, wondering about this and wandering around in that – no peace, unsettled..the battle is in the mind. Even your prayer life is consumed with complaints and personal stress to the point where you cant even weep for the nations because your mind is taken over with cares – when 1 Peter 5:7 says we should cast our cares on Him because He cares for us, and Psalm 55:22 says that if we cast our cares on Him that He will sustain us… but oh what peace we often forfeit and what needless pains we bear.

Joyce Meyer encourages us to be mindful of the things that are in our mind.. not everything that is found wondering around in there a) belongs there and b) deserves to stay. She reminds us that we have the power to do exactly what 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us: “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”

This basically means that we have the power to control the contents of our mind. We have the right to question the motive of these thoughts – where did you come from? What is your business here? Do you mean me any good? Are you aligned with the Word Of God..? and if the answers are not good.. you have the right to cast it down and bring it into captivity. I have a whooooooole post on this one scripture – last year this scripture literally saved my life having been tormented by what I THOUGHT were my own thoughts… but the devil IS a liar..!

Who Is This Book For:

If you have ever felt as though your emotions and your thoughts seem to have too much control of your life.While we need thoughts and will and feeling and emotions.. they have their place.

If you feel as thought your thoughts turn up and create pure havoc and chaos – feeling as though you just cant get them in check and they quickly become your master with you feeling enslaved to its every will and motive.

If you are genuinely just looking to get a grip… this could be the book for you..