Fear and self control

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgement and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].

This week I went on a road trip with my two boys.. and I came back with a lot more than pictures.

I have two boys, who in age are around 5yrs apart and in character are complete polar opposites. My eldest is very calm, an observant individual, happy not to speak unless it means something to him or if spoken to. He’s wondering into his teenage yrs so his temperament fluctuates like the wind. At times he seems SO miserable that its actually hard to be around him as he is just so dismissive, and resistant to any form of engagement…

My youngest, he’s 7 and just happy to be alive. He is warm, affectionate, close, engaging, nooooon stop talking. He needs engagements from the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps. This could be an age thing, but he’s always been this way..

Polar opposites. Mothering both of them has had its challenges. I’ve had to master the skill of looking after both spectrums at once.. one who wont start and one who wont stop. One who doesn’t want to be looked at and one who wont stop till you lock eyes with him. One who laughs with passion and depth.. and the other.. who almost seems afraid to let you see him smile. It can be quite difficult as I can’t engage with them the same but I must and need to engage.

This week I realized that my children are a direct expression of my character.. or maybe that should be characterS…plural..and how hard it must be to manage and be with me.

I recall conversations with my ex. He would tell me how hard I was to be with. How hard it was to anticipate and gage where I would emotionally or mentally be at any given moment. He once told me he that he’d rather not spend money on me if I was in one of my moods. He hated that I could run from one pole to another at any given moment..and he never knew who and or what to expect.

This week it registered just how difficult this must have been.. through my children I was seeing me.. the warm and tender me and the.. well.. not so warm and tender.. and it stopped me in my tracks..

I had to bring this to God. He opened my eyes, and I just didn’t know what to do with what I was seeing. I immediately went to God for help. Help with my emotions. The fact that I seem to swing like some uncontrollable pendulum from pillar to post.. no warning.. just swinging. It’s not good.. not safe.. not nice..

I had to ask God for help! And help He did. 2 Tim 1:7. Tells me that God hasn’t give me the spirit of fear, but power, love and a SOUND MIND. Another version talks of a Well-Balanced mind and Self-Control … basically.. NON-PENDULUM-LIKE-NESS-NESS…!

I had to start by thanking God for being kind enough to expose my issues. He’s a good father. Secondly, I asked him to remove the core emotions of fear that demonstrate and manifest themselves in my pendulum like ways. I asked God to help me.. help me be more balanced. Help me to have some self-control. Father help me not to be such a pendulum.. all this swinging around cant be healthy or helpful..

It was the time for love : Spiritual Adoption #1

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine. Ezekiel 16:8

I’m going to use my hands to pull this scripture apart – think of it like tear and share bread! We are going to eat.. and at the end we are going to sit and let it digest.. !

Jesus is passing this way. The woman at the well was minding her own business unaware of the spiritual drought and deficit in her life. Jesus made the choice, He purpose to pass her way. Knowing that salvation would reach her by none other. He made / fixed an opportunity to pass her way. Knowing not only would salvation come to her that day, but via her testimony others too would receive life, and life

Jesus is passing this way. The woman with the issue of blood had a need. While she was not His intended destination, He was still passing her way. This one took the opportunity to cross paths with Him. She wasn’t looking to interrupt His journey, she didn’t even intend to have a conversation with Him. She just knew that this was her chance. Jesus was passing her way.

Jesus is purposefully passing my way. He sees my condition. He sees my state. He sees the void, the emptiness, the pain, the shame and the embarrassment and He’s passing my way just for me.

Why is he passing my way? Because He knows that I can’t do this thing by myself. He knows that if left to me I would be a write off in a matter of days maybe even hours. He knows that He is the only one that can make all this better. He alone knows how to stop the bleeding just ask the woman with the issue of blood. He alone knows how to call life from death just ask Lazerus.

Jesus is intently passing my way. Ultimately because He loves me. While I have no business here, no right, no inheritance, this makes it all his choice. Knowing the limitations, knowing I’m far from worthy, He is still passing my way because He wants ME. Ultimately He’s already paid the price for me redeeming me back to himself because I am what and who He wants. He is done with the tents and the tabernacles now He wants me. So He is passing my way to come and get me.

He’s passing my way he looked at me “behold thy time was the time of love”. He called time.

He called time, having wondered in my own way, filthy, naked, broken, bleeding He’s taken this all in when He looked at me and decided now was the time for love. Enough of the of being hounded by the past, enough of the hurts, the anxiety and depression, enough was enough, time for love now! He called time.

He called time on the season. While it was good for me to be afflicted that I might learn your statuses, eventually someone has to call time (ask Job). While we all have our limits everyone’s much is different,eventually someone has to call time and say enough is enough now. Boxing comes to mind. Sometimes the contender has been beaten so badly and is now delirious thinking they can go on but there is always someone who can proxy for that irrational state and call time. Sometimes we don’t even know when enough is enough, but He called time.

He called time on the suffering, time on the weeping and brought the morning. He called time on the guilt and  un-forgiveness that worked like acid, painful corrosive destructive  He called time. It was time for love!

It was time for love. Now love is not love till it’s been given away. There wasn’t a dialogue, there was no discussion  no judgement, nothing. The time was a time of love, a time to do and what is it that he did? He made me His.

Divine care, He spread his skirt over me. This was an act of ownership, selecting, choosing, identifying once choice. He put His skirt over me you can ask Ruth how that feels. He took what was used to cover Himself to cover me too. He brought me in, took me under to cover my nakedness. This He did for me. He took his righteousness and covered my nakedness as I had no means or method or way of doing this myself. Revelations 3:17 talks of a people who didn’t even know that they would naked, wretched, poor, but when He came by and looked at us He knew and He also knew that we had no means of covering ourselves so He did this for us. For me.. for you! The act of justification and redemption in one beautiful act. Garments were often used as coverlets, and the act described was therefore, as in Ruth 3:9 the received symbol of a completed marriage. Through this act; He became mine and I became His.

Then He swore unto us, entered into an agreement with us. Now who better to enter into an agreement then with the God who’s words are settled in the heavens, who changes not, and is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that he should repent. He makes a long standing agreement with us – enters into a marriage with us, making it clear that we are His.

And Thou Becamest Mine… this hit home with me! Personally I have always struggled with belonging – not feeling that I really belong to someone can be quite troublesome when it comes to relationships, self confidence, self esteem. You hear of teens at various stages of their lives going to “find themselves”.. assuming because they just don’t feel they belong anywhere. But this statement got to the core of me.

After passing by me, after looking at me, after calling my time of love, covering me with his own righteousness, taking me in, making a vow and agreement with me I have now become HIS!


Beautiful right… Thou becamest mine! say it out loud…. let it digest!

Thou Becamest MINE! 




Its a done deal

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) reads this: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”. The KJV calls the future and hope an expected end. Expected for who? He who sits within and outside of time..

Just a reminder that God does not need our assistance in bringing us to the expected end that He has for us. All He requires from us is love which comes in the form of obedience (“If you love me, obey my commandments” John 14:15) and a purpose driven life that seeks His kingdom ( Romans 14:17 “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit”) and His Righteousness.

If we stick to the plan that God has for us we are bound to reach the expected end. Now, this is not to say from time to time we wont get lost along the way, and deviate from the plan. This is not even to say that all of us will be able to resist the temptation to take the wheel ourselves – thinking we know how this should go. How many of us have put in a post code into the SAT NAV – it’s suggested a route and we think… Naaaahhh… I’ll go my own way… and boy do we regret it in the end!

The same works for the will of God for our lives. He is the Author and Finisher of our Faith. This would mean that from the beginning to the end of our walk of faith is known by God who has written it Himself. We are just characters in a finished story. Imagine characters in a story book one day deciding they don’t want to play the roll they were given!

Psalms 119:89 David says Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the Heavens. This is to tell us that the words of the Lord are firmly fixed – a done deal in the Heavens. Matthew 6:10  details part of what we consider The Lords, it says this “your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”. We are asked that the will of God be made manifest on Earth as it is in Heaven. This means what we see taking shape here on Earth concerning us is a double up, an echo, of something that’s already settled in the Heavens. Indeed Heaven and Earth shall pass away, but the words of God’s word will never pass away. (Matthew 24:35). Why? John 1:1 tells us that in the beginning was the word (run over to Genesis), the word was with God, and the word was God. God and His word are ONE.

So when God speaks a word to you about our future, its not an unfinished work that now needs your assistance to get it to come to pass. Nope.. its just a sneak peek at what is already settled and completed in the Heavens concerning you. All you are required to do is make ready to receive from God. If we comply with and stick to the SAT-NAV of our life which is His word and the leading of the Holy Spirit there is no way that our lives wont go according to His plan – bringing us to our expected end.

God is merciful in that He is always waiting to receive those who have deviated from the plan. I can testify of deviating from the plan for many years – but I am grateful that I can also testify that He has restored my connection with my path – it, like most things is a process and a development of my trust in God that allows me to say “ok, I think I know what this should look like – but God I trust your route, I trust your plan, I trust your leading”. I have found it better to just do what God says do. It may not always make sense to us, but we have to learn to release our will and align ourselves with the author and finisher of this our walk of FAITH!

Much love from my heart to yours x

Prepare your mind for action

Today’s blog is focused on 1st Peter 1:3 (NLT) “So, prepare your minds for action”. In the KJV it says to “Gird up the loins of your mind”

So when we talk about the mind – where and what are we talking about. I’m referencing to: The seat of human consciousness, cognitive faculties including, perception, thinking, judgement, and memory, where our imaginations roam and wonder. Its related to but not a direct part of the body (by that I mean I wouldn’t find it if I sent you for an MRI or CAT Scan). Its a VERY powerful part of us that often provokes and drives the what, where, when, how , and why of our actions. Majority of the things we do (and don’t do) start with some kind of cognitive processing going on in the mind. Consider it the bodies CPU (Central Processing Unit).

As parents we see the power of the mind quite often. Have you have caught sight of your child fixating on something, and you can see the wheels of pure mischief turning in their minds? You can see the plan, the process and the execution being thoroughly planned out in their mind. As a parent the most common phrase to the child is “Don’t Even Think About It!” We see and know the power of the mind about to unfold into some drama or the other, and to spare them (and our blood pressure!) and we instruct the child to hold it riiiight there! Such is the power of the mind.

In adults the power of the mind is displayed in things like phobias and mental health conditions and many other conditions that affect the body, but are all seated in the mind. One such condition that always fascinates me is Phantom Pregnancies. This is considered a state of the mind  where a woman believes herself to be pregnant and her entire body acts accordingly. She will tell you she’s felt baby move, her stomach may grown, she may even begin to produce milk, but is’t all in her mind. Such is the power of the mind!

I remember when I had a car accident some years ago, and for weeks I felt like stationary objects were moving. Especially the likes of parked cars. For a long time I felt unsafe on the roads simply because I felt like everything was moving! Such is the power of the mind!

Now what does it mean to gird? This is to encircle a person or part of the body with a belt or band. To secure a sword with a belt or band to the body. To surround . In biblical times men and women wore long garments that would often have many layers and tassels and loose ends around the feet. If  they were men or women of war, the instruction to “gird up your loins” would be one to say get ready to move! It would be hard for them to battle and do anything requiring any pace with all this material around their legs, tripping them up and slowing them down. They would need to tie it up, often around the waist are and held with a belt.


1st Peter 1:3 says to prepare your MINDS for action. The responsibility of the state of our mind being placed on us. If we are to be as effective in this life as we have been called to be we must be ready and set in out minds first.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says:”Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” Here we see that we cant even understand and prove the will of God for our lives until we have had a transformation of our mind. Why is this transformation so important, because “As a man thinks – So is he” (Prov 23:7) Such is the power of the mind!

1 Cor 2:14 lets us know that the carnal mind (A mind that knows God but still  chooses to deny the power and conditions He comes with) can not even comprehend the things of the Spirit.

We’ve spoken before about the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5:25-29). We see how a problem had turned into a 12 year long issue. This condition had affected her socially, economically, financially. However, when she heard that Jesus was passing her way – we are given insight into her her mind. She said to herself –  This was the girding up moment, what we would now call psyching yourself up! If I touch His garment – I SHALL ( not maybe, or possibly – SHALL) be made whole.

My question for you.. when faced with conditions and problems that have turned into issues… what kind of conversations are you having with yourself? How are you preparing your mind for action?

You see feelings often lie. Feelings are very real but are carnal as they are based on the condition of the information communicated by our senses. 8 foot high wall + 5 foot nothing me = No Way! Lazarus is dead + Been dead for 3 days before Jesus gets there = REAL DEAD! This is carnal. We must align ourselves with the words of God that are already settled in the heavens. Matthew 6:10 say “Your Kingdom come , your will be done – in Earth – as it is in Heaven”. The will of God is already a done deal, settled before the foundation of the world. The promises of God towards you are already settled in the Heavens just waiting to become manifest on Earth, What we see here is just a secondary – an echo if you will to what has already been settled in the Heavens (Now let that digest). This takes faith – the substance (the make up) of things hoped for – the evidence (proof) of things not yet seen. (Heb 11:1)

Girding up your mind takes rehearsal of the undisputed, power packed word of God! It takes reminding yourself of the power, goodness and abilities of your God. Avoiding the carnal and rehearsal of what your sense are telling you, and crossing over into the spiritual which is the only way we can please God and have his will manifested on Earth as it is in Heaven.

To make it through this world we really need to have our mind prepared for action at all times. Consider it like one of those OOOOOOVERLY loud motorbikes at the lights, getting ready to go. Revving its engine. Think of every scripture you read live a rev and preparation of your mental engine.

Greater is He that is in me , than he that is in the world – Vroom! (1 john 4:4)

I will say of the Lord he is my refuge (Vroom) my fortress (Vroom) my GOD (Vroom) in Him will I trust (Vroom). (Ps 91:2)

The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear (Vroom) the Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid (Vroom) (Ps 27:1)

My sisters you must take time to gird up, to reinforce, to encircle and prepare your mind for action – what better to do this with than the power of the word of God! At any point our mind can come under attack and its the constant readiness of our mind that will allow us to defend ourselves and fight back!